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    ????????应???白???却???闷???着???头???继???续???吃???,???嚼???完???才???说???:???“???这???个???便???宜???。???”

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    ????????他???就???笑???不???出???来???了???。

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    ????????树???叶???沙???沙???得???响???,???在???夜???风???中???摆???荡???,???路???灯???漏???过???树???影???,???投???下???摇???曳???的???光???,???照???得???他???的???眸???子???深???邃???,???应???苍???林???转???身???,???低???下???头???看???着???她???,???轻???声???问???道???:???“???你???那???时???候???爱???吃???这???个???,???就???是???因???为???便???宜???????”

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    ????????应???白???脑???子???还???有???点???沉???,???转???不???过???弯???来???,???耍???不???了???心???眼???,???问???什???么???就???老???实???回???答???什???么???:???“???我???们???食???堂???的???肉???菜???都???太???贵???了???,???阿???姨???手???还???抖???,???所???以???只???敢???吃???素???菜???。???这???个???饼???里???面???有???里???脊???和???火???腿???肠???,???加???个???蛋???也???只???要???六???块???,???我???实???在???想???吃???肉???了???,???就???可???以???来???买???,???很???划???算???的???。???”

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    ????????她???掰???着???指???头???比???了???个???六???,???脸???上???笑???得???没???心???没???肺???。

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    ????????应???苍???林???神???色???复???杂???,???小???摊???上???能???有???什???么???好???肉???,???不???过???是???不???值???钱???的???碎???肉???压???的???肉???片???和???掺???了???许???多???淀???粉???的???火???腿???肠???,???可???这???对???当???时???的???应???白???,???已???经???是???加???餐???了???。

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    ????????在???离???开???以???前???,???应???白???甚???至???从???来???没???自???己???洗???过???一???件???衣???服???,???如???果???她???不???吃???什???么???东???西???,???唯???一???原???因???只???会???是???她???不???爱???吃???。

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    ????????“???那???么???苦???,???还???是???不???肯???回???来???吗???????”

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    ????????他???知???道???这???是???无???用???的???问???话???,???可???他???忍???不???住???问???,???他???从???如???今???光???鲜???亮???丽???、???美???丽???绝???伦???的???应???白???,???看???到???当???初???那???个???整???天???穿???着???旧???衣???、???拼???命???奔???波???在???兼???职???,???连???肉???都???不???敢???吃???的???小???姑???娘???。

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    ????????应???白???闭???了???嘴???,???慢???慢???低???下???头???,???只???是???望???着???鞋???尖???,???轻???轻???磨???蹭???着???地???,???半???天???才???低???声???说???了???句???:???“???我???不???敢???。???”

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    ????????“???我???太???坏???了???,???我???的???血???都???是???坏???的???,我不想弄脏你们家。???上???大???学???的???时???候???,???有???一???次???我???买???了???刀???片???,???但???是???没???有???割???,???我???怕???我???的???血???流???出???来???太???脏???了???,???我???不???想???看???到???。???”???她???抿???着???嘴???,???皱???着???眉???头???认???真???地???说???。

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    ????????酒???精???让???人???放???松???警???惕???、???变???得???诚???实???,???应???白???没???有???恐???惧???,???也???没???有???躲???避???,???用???诚???实???到???天???真???的???口???吻???,???说???着???这???些???可???怕???的???心???里???话???。

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    ????????她???没???有???注???意???到???对???面???的???呼???吸???都???短???暂???停???止???了???,???只???在???酒???精???的???晕???眩???感???中???慢???慢???眨???着???眼???。

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    ????????应???苍???林???想???骂???,???却???又???不???知???骂???什???么???,???他???曾???经???说???过???,???不???许???应???白???再???对???自???己???说???这???种???话???,???可???他???现???在???什???么???都???说???不???出???来???,???只???有???内???里???被???穿???了???个???洞???,???冬???风???从???那???里???呼???啸???而???过???,???连???血???肉???都???模???糊???。

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    ????????等???他???终???于???能???发???出???声???音???,???才???轻???声???对???应???白???说???,???像???是???怕???吓???着???她???,???“???没???人???能???选???择???一???个???人???的???出???身???,???我???是???私???生???子???,???你???会???觉???得???我???不???堪???吗???????”

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    ????????应???白???摇???摇???头???,???一???双???眼???睛???看???着???他???,???无???比???认???真???地???回???答???:???“???你???不???一???样???,???你???是???因???为???爱???出???生???的???,???你???是???最???干???净???的???。???我???不???仅???血???是???脏???的???,???心???也???很???坏???。???”

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    ????????“???那???个???时???候???,???我???还???要???陷???害???你???强???奸???,???明???明???我???自???己???才???是......???”???她???还???没???说???完???,???就???被???应???苍???林???抱???了???个???满???怀???,???紧???紧???囚???在???自???己???怀???里???,???再???也???不???让???她???把???那???些???糟???践???自???己???的???话???说???出???口???。

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    ????????“???我???来???爱???你???,???如???果???有???爱???就???是???干???净???的???,???那???我???来???爱???你???。???”

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    ????????他???握???住???应???白???后???脑???的???手???是???那???么???温???暖???,???说???出???的???话???是???那???么???坚???定???。

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    ????????应???白???没???有???挣???扎???,???她???握???住???应???苍???林???西???装???的???手???渐???渐???收???紧???,???把???自???己???更???深???地???埋???进???他???的???怀???里???。

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    ????????“???我???好???想???你???。???”

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    ????????“???我???一???直???都???好???想???你???。???”???她???终???于???开???口???,???带???着???浓???重???的???鼻???音???,???“???但???是???我???不???能???去???找???你???,???因???为???我???还???没???有???赎???罪???。???”

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    ????????应???白???抬???起???头???来???,???红???着???眼???睛???看???他???,???路???灯???在???她???的???眸???子???里???撒???下???细???碎???的???光???,???颤???着???声???音???,???“???等???等???我???好???吗???????再???等???等???我???,???等???我???有???资???格???来???找???你???。???”

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    ????????温???暖???的???指???尖???,???抹???去???她???还???没???落???下???的???泪???,???和???吻???一???起???落???下???的???,???还???有???一???句???话???。

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    ????????“???你???不???用???来???找???我???,???因???为???我???哪???里???都???不???会???去???。???”

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    ????????应???白???在???重???逢???后???一???直???不???肯???真???正???发???生???关???系???的???原???因???,???也???是???觉???得???会???弄???脏???了???林???林???,???这???是???她???深???藏???的???自???卑???和???心???结???。

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